I "might" need your help.

All these things could happen to me without your well needed support.

I could be caught in a drought, suffering needlessly in the hot sun of the Nebraskian upper plains desert. Forced to scavage off of the dead & rotting flesh of animals roasted out in the bright hot sun. I'm talking no spices too, I mean nothin to even make em taste good even.

I could be caught up alone in massive flooding conditions. I'm talkin seriously wet and trying to survive in conditions far beyond the realm of "normal" survival techniques. I'm talkin wet Marlboro's and warm beer here floatin on an inner tube.

Monsters! I could be attacked by monsters from another time & another dimension, with fish-heads too!

Lightning. I could be struck by lightning trying to survive a drought then trapped in a massive flood and fighting off evil monsters with fish heads from another dimension.

Uggly wimmin. After the drought killed off all the frail young supple and sexy beautiful wimmins. I could be struck by lightning then trapped in a massive flood (trying to save all the sexy wimmins), and fighting off evil horror monsters with fish heads (who are eatin their heads off) from another dimension. I "could" end up trapped deep in the clutches of an ugly biatch like this...

All I'm trying to say is that you have been offered a chance to help me. Knowing now that you have read this far I know you can't un-read it, this means you know my plight. You should take this oppertunity right now to donate to the "Save a Funk Fund".

Donate cash, fine furnature (waterproof furnature is preferred) ex-wives and possibly a nice living space up on high land out of this damn desert.

I am NOT begging but I do want you to know ahead of time the guilt wou will feel if I end up stuck in a drought, then a flood, then get my head eaten off by a fish headed monster then struck by lightning and even worse stuck for the rest of my life at the mercy of a truelly uggly-pain in the ass bitch.

Donate now. You will feel no guilt and I'll be yer friend forever.