Thursday, June 17, 2010

Feed the Wealthy, "Please wont you help me help them?".

When I was a kid growing up in the early 70's times were tough but none more so than it was on the wealthiest of us. Those poor-poor people never learned the basics. They didn't know how to cook, clean or even in any way care for themselves. Sure they could hire cooks and maids to assist in some of their basic needs, but think about it for a moment. Who in his right mind would want some unkempt, uneducated, badly dressed piece of trailer park trash or some low life street drog messing around with your fine tableware, jewelry or fancy suits?.

Those folks had it rough and we knew it. We joined together and created support groups for them. Of course they never attended any of our meetings. We didn't care. We were doing this to help them, not for self gratification or public esteem.

Some of the projects were just silly little things like fancy slogans like "F.T.W." which meant Feed the wealthy. The middle finger gesture was adopted into use by us too. When we saw them suffering we would raise out middle finger up to them as a gesture that we were one with their plight and here for them, also to let them know that they were not left un-noticed by us and we were here to help them "giving it all to them", so to speak.

We even did other things too. We both worked at and supported fast food chains that they owned. We saw that as a way of offering them a quick meal for under a buck without having to deal with someone having to enter their homes and make a mess cooking for them there. We also organized street clean-ups. Almost every warm weekend a group of us would get together and clean up their tossed out sandwich wrappers, coffee cups and other waste products that they would toss out the window when they were done. It was all understood by us because who in hell would want to see a brand new Jag or a fancy new Beamer sittin out in front of an office building all cluttered up with Burger King trash like some 15 year old Chevy?

Yes, we did our best to help feed those poor unfortunate wealthy people with full understanding that they could not do it for themselves and we cleaned up after them out of the kindness of our collaborative consciousness and combined hearts.

I am older now and can't flip a burger no more, can't even bend over often to pick up discarded trash anymore. Won't you please do your part to assist me in this long ongoing effort to help them in other ways. Maybe if I was wealthy too I could get an education, buy a nice suit, get a haircut and help them with influence. I think I can and with your small donation ($50 to whatever) a week each, I could become wealthy too and have that education and suit and I could work with them one-on-one to teach at least a few how to be more self supportive towards their own needs.

I know this is a serious matter and I know you want more information and I could go on and on about this forever but just think. With your donation of "just" $50 you will receive a picture of me and a thanx letter in a cheap used suit. If you donate $100 I'll send you absolutely free of charge (except shipping & handling) a Better picture of me in a better suit and an almost full page Thank You letter, or with your donation of only $250 a week I'll send you a picture of me in a fancy brand new suit and nice haircut and a really-really nice Thank You Letter (WAY BETTER THEN THE ONES I SEND TO THOSE CHEAPSKATES). Just remember the old saying "The more you give, the more you get." or "You first have to give to receive"

Please send all donations directly in email, no checks, money orders, marked bills or credit cards to FunkingDave@gmail.com and expect an 8 to 12 week wait for reply.

Thank you very much for your generous donation in advance,
Funk

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