In most all of my relationships I was the protector and the abused. I did all I could to find a good outcome for my partner and in doing that I made it easy for her to abuse me.
No tears though. I never showed the pain I felt being punched out by a woman half my size. I never hit back. I only tried to guide them and it never worked.
Seems by the time you meet a woman with a price on her the price is already set. You can't do anything with her and expect not to pay the price.
Bothers me most though is I can take the punch. I've had an oak rocking chair busted over my head without flinching.
But I'm me and most are not like me.
What bothers me is my children are not like me and abuse only usually knows one law, "only abuse those you can trust to be abused and still protect you".
I am abused and not ashamed of it.
I am however ashamed that I won't get professional intervention to prevent this from progressing further.
I know she (this one) is messed up, but fear foster homes or providers might be worse.
I try to think I can teach my children around the abuse to overcome it, but I know I myself cant.
I pray, but I often don't listen.
This post I made because I hope for better for others and for me.
Blessings All...
Domestic Violence.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, from [this page]
Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, child abuse or intimate partner violence (IPV), can be broadly defined a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation. Domestic violence has many forms including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse[1][2] (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation. Domestic violence may or may not constitute a crime, depending on local statues, severity and duration of specific acts, and other variables. Alcohol consumption[3] and mental illness[4] have frequently been associated with spousal abuse.
Awareness, perception and documentation of domestic violence differs from country to country, and from era to era. Estimates[citation needed] are that only about a third of cases of domestic violence are actually reported in the United States and the United Kingdom. According to the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is a serious, preventable public health problem affecting more than 32 million Americans, or over 10% of the U. S. population.[5]
Violence between spouses has long been considered a serious problem. The United States has a lengthy history of legal precedent condemning spousal abuse. In 1879, law scholar Nicholas St. John Green[6] wrote, "The cases in the American courts are uniform against the right of the husband to use any [physical] chastisement, moderate or otherwise, toward the wife, for any purpose." Green also cites the 1641 Body of Liberties of the Massachusetts Bay colonists -— one of the first legal documents in North American history —- as an early de jure condemnation of violence by either spouse.
Popular emphasis has tended to be on women as the victims of domestic violence.[7] Many studies[8][9] show that women suffer greater rates of injury due to domestic violence, and some studies show that women suffer higher rates of assault.[10] Yet, other statistics show that while men tend to inflict injury at higher rates, the majority of domestic violence overall is reciprocal.[11]
Modern attention to domestic violence began in the women's movement of the 1970s, particularly within feminism and women's rights, as concern about wives being beaten by their husbands gained attention. Only since the late 1970s, and particularly in the masculism and men's movements of the 1990s, has the problem of domestic violence against men gained any significant attention. Estimates show that 30 of every 1,000 females and 45 of every 1,000 males are victims of severe violence committed by their spouses.[3] A 1997 report says significantly more men than women do not disclose the identity of their attacker.[12] A 2009 study showed that there was greater acceptance for abuse perpetrated by females than by males.[13]
Definitions:
The term "intimate partner violence" (IPV) is often used synonymously with domestic abuse/domestic violence. Family violence is a broader definition, often used to include child abuse, elder abuse, and other violent acts between family members.[14] Wife abuse, wife beating, and battering are descriptive terms that have lost popularity recently for at least two reasons:
- Acknowledgment that many victims are not actually married to the abuser, but rather cohabiting or other arrangement[15]
- Abuse can take other forms than physical abuse and males are often victims of violence as well. Other forms of abuse may be constantly occurring, while physical abuse happens occasionally.
These other forms of abuse have the potential to lead to mental illness, self-harm, and even attempts at suicide.[16][17]
Amartya Sen calculated that more than 100 million females and follow up studies showed that between 60 million and 107 million women are missing worldwide.[18]
The U. S. Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a "pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner". The definition adds that domestic violence "can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender", and that it can take many forms, including physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse.[19]
The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service in the United Kingdom in its "Domestic Violence Policy" uses domestic violence to refer to a range of violent and abusive behaviours, defining it as:
Patterns of behaviour characterised by the misuse of power and control by one person over another who are or have been in an intimate relationship. It can occur in mixed gender relationships and same gender relationships and has profound consequences for the lives of children, individuals, families and communities. It may be physical, sexual, emotional and/or psychological. The latter may include intimidation, harassment, damage to property, threats and financial abuse.[20]
In Spain, the 2004 Measures of Integral Protection against Gendered Violence defined gendered violence as a violence that is directed at women for the very fact of being women. The law acknowledges that women are considered by their attackers as lacking the basic rights of freedom, respect, and decision making capability.[21] The law established Courts of "Violence against Women" and suspended presumption of innocence for men accused of domestic violence. Spanish Courts are empowered to hold closed door hearings before trial and evict men from their homes; suspend parental rights, child custody, or visitation rights; and bar men from possessing weapons.[22]
Forms of abuse:
All forms of domestic abuse have one purpose: to gain and maintain total control over the victim. Abusers use many tactics to exert power over their spouse or partner: dominance, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, denial and blame.[23]
- Direct physical violence ranging from unwanted physical contact to rape and murder
- Indirect physical violence may include destruction of objects, striking or throwing objects near the victim, or harm to pets
- Mental or emotional abuse including verbal threats of physical violence to the victim, the self, or others including children, and verbal violence including threats, insults, put-downs, and attacks
- Nonverbal threats may include gestures, facial expressions, and body postures
- Psychological abuse may also involve economic and/or social control such as controlling the victim's money and other economic resources, preventing the victim from seeing friends and relatives, actively sabotaging the victim's social relationships, and isolating the victim from social contacts
Physical violence:
Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force with the potential for causing injury, harm, disability, or death, for example, hitting, shoving, biting, restraint, kicking, or use of a weapon.
More to read on about [here], or you can just live in it like many others seem to have to do.
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